I am in love with a Muslim. We do plan to be married soon, as long as his parents are accepting of it. I plan to pronounce shahaadah soon, and begin the rituals of cleansing and prayer. My question is, what things can I do that will make me a good and virtuous wife to him? What manners should I have and what practices should I follow? What rules are there about women in the mosque? Also, how should I read the Holy Book?.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allaah Who has lighted the path of truth for you and enabled you to become convinced of Islam which is the true religion. All you have to do now is to utter the twin testimony of faith (the Shahaadatayn) in order to set your affairs straight, and you will be granted divine support in this world and in the Hereafter. So hasten to take this step and I ask Allaah to make you steadfast in adhering to His religion. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.
Secondly:
In order to be a righteous wife with whom Allaah is pleased, we advise you, after obeying Allaah, to obey your husband so long as he does not tell you to do anything wrong or sinful, for a wife’s obedience towards her husband is one of the most important principles of marriage propagated in Islam.
It was narrated that Mu’aadh ibn Jabal (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the husband’s great rights. No woman can find the sweetness of faith until she fulfils her husband’s rights, even if he calls her to him when she is atop her camel.”
Al-Haythami said:
This was narrated in full by al-Bazzaar and in part by Ahmad, and the men of its isnaad are the men of saheeh.
Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 4/309
Thirdly:
After that you have to give up the bad customs that you used to engage in before your Islam, that go against Islam and its commandments.
That includes tabarruj (wanton display), being unveiled and not wearing proper Islamic hijaab – if you are one of those who do not wear Islamic dress. You also have to give up such customs of the disbelievers as mixing with men, and making friends with men who are not your mahrams.
You have to get used to Muslim customs and the commands of their religion which teaches that the Muslim woman is to be protected and not to wander about half naked in the marketplaces and places where there is free mixing with men, because that offends her husband’s honour.
Fourthly:
With regard to the way of life that you have to follow, that is by adhering to the commands enjoined by Allaah and by avoiding the things that Allaah has forbidden; that includes praying and fasting regularly and remembering Allaah in all situations. In all of that it will help if you read the Qur’aan and useful books which describe Islam and its teachings.
Fifthly:
With regard to the guidelines on women entering the mosque, they are as follows:
1 – She should not go out wearing perfume, adornment or make-up. This does not apply only to going out to the mosque, rather whenever she goes out of her house, it is haraam for her to go out wearing make up. Her purpose in going out of the house should be to pray to Allaah or to attend a lesson from which she can learn the rulings of her religion.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not prevent the female slaves of Allaah from going to the mosques of Allaah, but let them go out not wearing perfume.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 565; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 529
2 – It is Sunnah for the Muslim, when he leaves his house and heads towards the mosque, to recite the du’aa’ for walking to the mosque:
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas said: “… Then the muezzin gave the call to prayer, and he (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) came out, saying, ‘Allaahumma aj’al fi qalbi nooran wa fi lisaani nooran waj’al fi sam’i nooran waj’al fi basari nooran waj’al min khalfi nooran wa min amaami nooran waj’al min fawqi nooran wa min tahti nooran, Allaahummah a’tini nooran (O Allaah, place with my heart light, and upon my tongue light, and within my ears light and within my eyes light, and place behind me light and in front of me light and above me light and beneath me light, O Allaah, bestow upon me light).”
Narrated by Muslim, 763.
3 – When he enters the mosque, he should enter with his right foot first, and say the words that were narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
It was narrated that Abu Humayd or Abu Usayd said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When any one of you enters the mosque, let him say: Allaahumma iftah li abwaab rahmatika (O Allaah, open to me the gates of Your mercy), and when he leaves let him say, Allaahumma inni as’aluka min fadlika (O Allaah, I ask You of Your bounty).”
Narrated by Muslim, 713
According to some reports, the words Bismillaah, Allaahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, send blessings upon Muhammad) are added at the beginning of each.
See al-Tirmidhi, 314; Ibn Maajah, 771. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 625
It was narrated that Haywah ibn Shurayh said: “I met ‘Uqbah ibn Muslim and said to him, ‘I heard that you narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered the mosque, he would say, “A’oodhu Billaah il-‘Azeem wa bi wajhihi’l-kareem wa sultaanihi’l-qadeem min al-shaytaan il-rajeem (O Allaah, I seek refuge in Your noble countenance and Your eternal authority from the accursed Shaytaan).”’ He said, ‘Is that all?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘And when he said that, the Shaytaan said, “He is protected from me for the whole day.”’”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 466; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 441.
4 – When the Muslim enters the mosque, he should not sit down until he has prayed two rak’ahs to “greet the mosque”.
It was narrated from Abu Qutaadah al-Sulami that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When any one of you enters the mosque, let him pray two rak’ahs before he sits down.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 714
Abu Dawood (455) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded that mosques should be built in every neighbourhood, and that they should be cleaned and perfumed.
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 437.
5 – The mosque should be cleaned and perfumed by those who are able to do it:
It was narrated from Abu Dharr that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The deeds of my ummah, both good and bad, were shown to me, and I found that among the best of its deeds was removing a harmful thing from the road, and I found among the worst of its deeds leaving phlegm in the mosque and not burying it.”
Narrated by Muslim, 555.
6 – Not raising one’s voice in the mosque, even in reciting Qur’aan, because that may disturb one of the worshippers.
It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went into i’tikaaf (seclusion or retreat for worship) in the mosque, and he heard them reciting Qur’aan in loud voices. He pulled back the curtain and said: “Each one of you is conversing with his Lord, so do not disturb one another and do not raise your voices above one another in reciting Qur’aan” – or he said, “in prayer”.
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1332; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1183.
7 – He should exit the mosque with the left foot first, and saying the du’aa’ narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When any one of you enters the mosque, let him send blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and say, Allaahumma iftah li abwaab rahmatika (O Allaah, open to me the gates of Your mercy). And when he leaves let him send blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and say, Allaahumma i’simni min al-Shaytaan il-rajeem (O Allaah, protect me from the accursed Shaytaan).
Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 773.
This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 515
Sixthly:
With regard to reading Qur’aan, you should read it a lot, because for every letter that you read you will have ten hasanaat (good deeds). It is permissible to recite Qur’aan with or without wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to remember Allaah in all situations. (Narrated by Muslim, 373). But it is better to do wudoo’ before reciting Qur’aan.
It was narrated from Muhaajir ibn Qunfudh that he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whilst he was urinating and greeted him with salaam, but he did not return the greeting until he had done wudoo’. Then he apologized to him and said, “I did not want to mention Allaah when I was not in a state of purity.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 17 – this version was narrated by him; Ibn Maajah, 350. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2472.
But it is haraam for one who is junub (in a state of impurity following sexual activity) to recite Qur’aan. With regard to a menstruating woman, the correct view is that it is permissible for her to recite Qur’aan. See question no. 2564.
All of that has to do with reciting Qur’aan without touching the Mus-haf. With regard to touching the Mus-haf, that is only permissible for one who has wudoo, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “No one should touch the Qur’aan except one who is taahir (pure).”
Narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta’, 419; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 122.
If the Muslim wants to read from the Mus-haf and he does not have wudoo’, he should hold the book with something in between, such as wearing gloves on his hands.
Seventhly:
It is Sunnah for him to be humble and think of the meaning of the verses that he is reading. He should ask about the meaning if he finds the words difficult to understand, so that he will increase in knowledge whilst reading. After that he should strive to act in accordance with what he has learned and apply the rulings of the Qur’aan.
And Allaah knows best.
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