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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Rulings on upholding the ties of kinship for females


my sister who has shahada is married
to a man who is not, at the time she didn;t know that he is haram for her. My husband will
not allow me to visit her home because he is not muslim, it this allowed? I would just
visit her home when he is not there

Praise be to Allaah.

There follow some details about the issue of women
upholding their ties of kinship, and what they should do with husbands who prevent them
from doing so.

Upholding the ties of kinship is obligatory even for females, who must
uphold them as much as they can. Therefore it is not permissible for a man to prevent his
wife or daughter from upholding her ties of kinship, and if he stops her from visiting
them, but he lets her convey greetings to them, whether by letter or through a third
person, or send them gifts, then she should do that. It is sufficient even if she only
sends greetings without a gift, but if she sends her greetings with a gift, that is
better. If he stops her from sending a gift but allows her to send greetings, then she
should send greetings. If he allows her to send a gift but stops her from sending
greetings, then she should send a gift. If he allows her to go and see them, then she
should go. If he stops her from doing anything that comes under the heading of upholding
ties of kinship, then there is no obedience to any created being if it involves
disobedience to the Creator. In this case she should maintain her family ties in the way
that is least objectionable to her husband or father, whether it is sending gifts or
conveying greetings, and she can conceal that if she is fearful. If her relatives are
faced with some hardship, she should help them with what they need, even if he says not
to. She should uphold her family ties by offering condolences in the case of bereavement
or loss, and condolence means advising patience. She should also congratulate them on
joyful occasions, and congratulating them means praying that they will enjoy to the full
whatever has brought them joy, and that it will not be spoilt for them. Such joyful events
include the return of a traveller, a wedding, etc. She should not adorn herself or display
her adornment in front of those to whom she should not show herself, such as cousins (sons
of maternal uncles or paternal uncles), and she should convey her greetings to them from
behind a barrier and without making her voice soft, but this is only in cases where there
is no fear of fitnah, otherwise she may convey greetings through a third party. She does
not have to attend funerals.

It is not permissible for the husband to stop his wife from upholding the
ties of kinship even if it involves her going out, but she should not go out except with
his permission. The same applies to fathers. The wife should treat her husband gently so
that she will still be able to fulfil her shar’i duty of upholding the ties of
kinship. We ask Allaah to put all our affairs in order.

Islam Q&A

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