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Monday, October 31, 2011

He gave him advice and he did not pay any heed; should he cut off ties with him?


I am a young religiously-committed man, and I have a brother in faith whom I love for the sake of Allaah. I saw him at the traffic lights with music playing loudly in his car, and I advised him in a direct manner without letting him know that I had seen him. He showed that he was sorry and had repented, and – according to what he said – he removed the music from his car and computer, praise be to Allaah. But a few days later, I saw him participating in chat rooms, talking in an indecent manner and writing down the names of songs. I recognized him by his screen name and his avatar. It seems that sometimes he talks on the internet with some of his female relatives who are not his mahrams. 

Should I cut off ties with him, or should I take him as he appears to be, knowing that he accepts the advice without acting on it, and that outwardly he appears to be committed? His friends know him as such, but I know something about him that they do not know.

Praise be to Allaah.

The one who
disobeys Allaah either disobeys Him openly or he conceals it. The one who
disobeys openly should be forsaken – even if it goes on for a long time – if
forsaking him will deter him from that or will make him do it less. 

If he
conceals it but it so happens that you see it, then he should be rebuked in
secret and he should be advised but his fault should be concealed.  

Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever conceals (the fault of) a Muslim, Allaah will conceal him on the
Day of Resurrection.” Agreed upon.  

Muhammad ibn
al-Munkadir saw a man standing with a woman and speaking with her. He said:
“Allaah can see you, may Allaah conceal us and you.” 

In such
cases it is prescribed for you to forsake him on your own, if that forsaking
will have an effect on him and will not result in any greater evil, such as
his committing sin openly after having concealed it, or doing more of it
after having done only a little, or doing something that is worse that that
for which you forsook him. 

al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

commits evil openly must be rebuked and forsaken and criticized for that.
This is what is meant by the phrase, “Whoever becomes shameless, talking
about him is not gheebah (backbiting).” This is unlike one who conceals his
sin and seeks to hide it; he should be concealed but he should be advised in
secret and forsaken by one who knows his situation, until he repents.” 

al-Fataawa (28/220) 

(may Allaah have mercy on him) included the hadeeth about Ka’b ibn Maalik
staying behind from the campaign to Tabook in a chapter which he entitled:
“Chapter: What is permitted of forsaking one who has sinned.” 

Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:   

What he
meant by saying “Chapter: What is permitted of forsaking one who has sinned”
is to explain the kind of forsaking (or boycotting) that is permitted,
because of the general meaning of the prohibition on forsaking a person for
no legitimate reason. Here he explains the reasons that justify forsaking
someone, which is when a person has committed a sin, and it is justified for
the one who found out about it to forsake him so that he will refrain from

al-Baari (10/497) 

It was
narrated from Sa’eed ibn al-Jubayr that a relative of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn
Mughaffal threw small pebbles and he told him not to do that. He said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade
the throwing of small pebbles and said: “It does not kill the game or kill
(or hurt) the enemy, rather it breaks a tooth or puts out an eye.” Then he
did it again and he said: I told you that the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade it, then you throw small
pebbles again. I will never speak to you. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5162)and
Muslim (1954). 

(may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

This shows
that innovators and evildoers and those who go against the Sunnah despite
knowing it are to be forsaken, and that it is permissible to forsake them
permanently. The prohibition on forsaking someone for more than three days
applies to one who forsakes another for personal or worldly reasons. As for
innovators and their ilk, they may be forsaken permanently. This hadeeth is
one of those that support this view, along with similar hadeeths such as the
hadeeth of Ka’b ibn Maalik and others. Sharh Muslim (13/106). 

What you
have to do with regard to your friend is advise him, exhort him, and remind
him to fear the Hereafter. If he responds, then praise be to Allaah, and you
will have the reward for that. If he persists secretly in his sin, then he
deserves to be forsaken by you if you think that forsaking him will benefit
him. If forsaking him will not benefit him, then we do not think that you
should forsake him, rather we think that you should still keep company with
him in the hope that that will benefit him. 

al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

forsaking varies according to whether the forsakers are strong or weak, many
or few. If the aim is to rebuke the person, discipline him and deter the
common folk from doing something like him, if the interest is clear in this
case so that forsaking him will weaken evil or make evil disappear
altogether, then it is prescribed. If neither the person who is forsaken nor
anyone else will be deterred by that, rather the evil will increase, and the
one  who wants to forsake him is weak, and the evil consequences of that
will outweigh the good, then it is not prescribed to forsake him, rather
kindness towards some people will be more beneficial than forsaking them. 

forsaking some people is more beneficial than being kind to them. Hence the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was kind to some
people and forsook others. Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (28/206). 

Finally, we
would like to point out that it is possible to advise him and guide him to
goodness without confronting him with what he has done, especially his
taking part in the chat rooms. It is also possible to advise him and send
him a letter without him knowing who you are, if that will reduce his
involvement in committing sin openly. 

May Allaah
guide us and you to that which He loves and which pleases Him, and make us
all doers of good and resisters of evil. 

And Allaah
knows best.

Now days we as Muslims have to spread the voice to learn quran and so we could gain the true knowledge and the quran teaching that is give to us by our beloved prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and do quran reading. Do we as Muslim ask our self that why we are at the peak of destruction? The answer will be simple that we have left our roots the holy quran we should guide promote Islam from in our homes first and let learn our kids quran  and encourage them in doing quran memorization this should be our first goal for it we can do different stuff like let then participate in different online quran recitation competition to let them listen quran from different online quran reciters and along with it we elders should learn quran also and improve our knowledge of quran and Islam and learn holy quran tafseer because to understand and learn quran Arabic and for this now a days there are many online quran tutor available who teach tajweed quran and its translation and tafseer so let us join our hands to be the voice of Islam and let improve the image of it as well and full fill our duty .

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