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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

She became Muslim but her family did not; should she honour her family even though they mistreat her

She became Muslim but her family did not; should she honour her family even though they mistreat her?
I became Muslim when I was young. My father threw me out of the house so I moved to a Muslim country with my husband to live there. I still keep in touch with my mother. Is there any sin on me for not keeping in touch with my father, knowing that he tells people I am a prostitute and he is threatening to kill me and my family?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

We praise Allaah for having guided you to Islam. Undoubtedly Allaah has blessed you greatly by choosing you from among your family to be the first of them to enter this religion. We ask
Allaah to make you the cause of them also entering Islam. 

What you have done of calling your family to
Islam is what Allaah has enjoined upon you; they take priority over others when it comes to da’wah and telling them the truth. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Say (O Muhammad): ‘This is my way; I invite unto Allaah (i.e. to the Oneness of Allaah —
Islamic Monotheism) with sure knowledge, I and whosoever follows me (also must invite others to Allaah, i.e. to the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic
Monotheism with sure knowledge). And Glorified and Exalted be Allaah (above all that they associate as partners with Him). And I am not of the
Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolaters and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah; those who worship others along with Allaah or set up rivals
or partners to Allaah)’”

[Yoosuf 12:108] 

“And warn your tribe (O Muhammad) of near
kindred”

[al-Shu’ara’ 26:214] 

The person who calls others to Allaah should
be gentle and subtle in his approach, especially with his family. Allaah has commanded us to treat our parents kindly, even if they are kaafirs
and call us to kufr. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Invite (mankind, O Muhammad) to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the
Divine Revelation and the Qur’aan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone
astray from His path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided”

[al-Nahl 16:125] 

“And We have enjoined on man to be good
and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then
obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:8] 

If any of them does not respond, his
misguidance is his own problem and Allaah will not make the daa’iyah accountable for any of his sin. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Whoever goes right, then he goes right
only for the benefit of his ownself. And whoever goes astray, then he goes astray to his own loss. No one laden with burdens can bear another’s
burden. And We never punish until We have sent a Messenger (to give warning)”

[al-Isra’ 17:15] 

What you did, migrating to one of the Muslim
countries and getting married, was the right thing to do. The Muslim cannot usually maintain his or her religious commitment in a hostile
environment where he or she is a stranger; it is especially hard for a woman who has no power and no strength except with Allaah. This difficulty
is demonstrated by what your father did, throwing you out of the house when he found out that you are a Muslim, 

Your keeping in touch with your mother and
asking after your father is something for which you deserve praise; this is something that Allaah has enjoined upon you. The rights of parents are
great, so do not cut off your ties with them, even if they mistreat you. Try to get in touch with your father and speak kindly to him; perhaps
that will be a cause of his being guided and will dispel the hardness in his heart towards you. 

With regard to your father’s threats, do not
pay any attention to them and do not worry about them; nothing will happen to you or your husband or your family except that which Allaah has
decreed for you. So take precautions and seek refuge with Allaah, for He is the Best of protectors and He is the Most Merciful of those who show
mercy. 

With regard to his slander and accusations
against you, this comes under the heading of the kaafir’s persecution of the Muslim. The honour of our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) was slandered when his wife and our mother, the Mother of the Believers ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was
accused of adultery; and it was said that he was a sorcerer, a soothsayer and a madman. Similar accusations were made against his brother Prophets
as well. Be patient and trust that Allaah will give you a way out and will relieve you of your worry; seek His help and always make du’aa’ to Him
and turn to Him, for He is the Best of supporters and helpers. 

We ask Allaah to make you steadfast in adhering to His religion and to increase you in guidance, insight and knowledge.

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