He is suffering severe pain in his lower back; does that mean he should not get married?

I am 28yr male, well settled in life with good job. My problem is, I am suffering from sievere lower back pain since one year and my parents are planning to arrange my marriage. I am confused wether I should go for marriage? What is right in this situation? Shall I go for this marriage?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

You should refer your case to a specialist doctor. If it is proven that this kind of pain may affect fertility or prevent intercourse, or makes a person unable to work and earn money, then you have to inform the woman you want to marry about this. If she accepts it, then there is nothing wrong with you marrying her. If you do not point it out then you are deceiving her. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever deceives is not one of us.” Narrated by Muslim, 102. 

What we have mentioned is based on the correct view, which is that every fault that may affect the purpose of marriage must be disclosed; the spouse has the right to annul the marriage if such a fault is discovered after being concealed. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: … by analogy, every fault that puts the other spouse off and hinders the purpose of marriage, namely compassion and love, should be disclosed and the option of annulment given. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/166). 

And he said: Whoever studies the fatwas of the Sahaabah and the salaf will realize that they did not specify one fault (as grounds of annulment) to the exclusion of others. 

And he said: If the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade the seller to conceal any fault in his product, and he forbade anyone who knows of it to conceal it from the buyer, then what about faults that affect marriage? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Faatimah bint Qays, when she consulted him about whether she should marry Mu’aawiyah or Abu’l-Jahm: “As for Mu’aawiyah, he is a poor man who has no money, and as for Abu’l-Jahm his stick is always over his shoulder [this may mean either that he travels a lot, or that he habitually beats his wives].” From this we know that disclosing faults with regard to marriage is more appropriate, so how can concealing them and deceiving people be a means of completing the marriage ?

From Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/168 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The correct view is that a fault is anything that affects the purpose of marriage, and undoubtedly the purposes of marriage are intimacy, service and producing offspring. These are some of the most important purposes, and if there is anything that prevents this purposes being fulfilled, then it is a fault. Based on this, if the wife finds the husband to be sterile or the husband finds the wife to be barren, then this is a fault.

From al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/274, Markaz Fajr edition. 

And Allaah knows best.

Marriage of one who is mentally deficient

I have a brother who is 30 years old and wants to get married, but he has a problem which I will sum up as follows. He is a regular person, with a good memory, his body is healthy and he looks fine; he can tell men and women apart and he understands when we speak about matters of marriage and so on, but he cannot distinguish matters in the sense that he does not understand the meanings of marriage and divorce, or the rights and duties of marriage and so on. My question is, it is permissible for him to get married or not, knowing that he says “I want to get married”? And Allaah is the source of strength.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is permissible for him to get married, but his situation must be explained clearly to the guardian of his wife and the wife must be told about the deficiencies in his mental understanding and ability to discern matters, and that he does not understand the meanings of marriage and divorce, and the rights and duties of marriage, and that he does not know how to pray properly, and that he does not have a job and does not have any qualifications, and that he does not have enough knowledge to know what will benefit him or what will harm him. Then if he does get married, his brother or his father will have to supervise him and take care of his needs, and ensure that he has accommodation and money to spend, and other things that are needed for marriage such as the mahr (dowry) and the like, because this deficiency is regarded as a fault for which the marriage may be annulled. But if his situation is explained clearly to the woman and her guardian, then the Muslims are bound by their conditions.

 

Does he have to divorce his wife if she rejects Islam?

should one divorce his wife is she rejects islam

Praise be to Allaah.

If your wife is from among the People of the Book – Jewish or Christian – then you do not have to divorce her; you can keep her and this is permissible. But if your wife is a follower of another religion, or has no religion at all, then the very fact of your being Muslim means that you must be separated, because it is not permissible for a Muslim to be married to a mushrikah; if he does that then he is a zaani (fornicator, adulterer) and that is not a (valid) marriage. 

He wants to marry her but she does not wear niqaab. Should he go ahead and propose or should he look for someone else?

I am a young Arab man who lives according to our Arab traditions, or what is known as a good attitude and etiquette, but this commitment has nothing to do with adhering to Islamic teachings, because in our country adhering to tradition does not contradict listening to music, mixing, dealing with riba-based banks and so on. I proposed marriage to a girl in the same environment that I am living in, and her family have been friends of my family for a long time. They all approved of the marriage since they know that we are both of good character. But my problem, unfortunately, started when I began to read about the rules on marriage in Islam and I started to reduce mixing and to pray regularly in the mosque and let my beard grow and not deal with riba-based banks and not listen to music and so on. Now both families are regarding me as an extremist, except those on whom Allaah has mercy, and they started to make this girl afraid of me, even though she loves me very much and has told them all about that many times. The girl wants to be committed but she is not able to do some things such as wearing niqaab or covering the face. So she too regards these things as signs of extremism in religion, as her family do. 
Should I forget about this girl who is of good character and proper etiquette and who is keen to pray and recite the adhkaar of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and is trying to be committed, and who loves me and tells others of that, and does not want to lose me, but she is unable to do some things that have to do with religion, such as covering her face, and look for someone else who is committed but whose family and behaviour I do not know and my judgement of her will be only according to what I hear from those who know her family and behaviour?.

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah the Almighty to make us and you steadfast in adhering to His religion, and to bless us and you with more obedience and righteousness. 

With regard to what you are asking about, it is better for you to stay with this girl towards whom your heart is inclined, and who feels likewise about you, and who has no faults that would cause you to leave her. All that there is, is that she needs a little care and encouragement and sound Islamic education to accept and follow the commands of Allaah. 

A lot of that may come after marriage, especially if you treat her nicely and move her into a better environment than the one she is in, which is what we advise and encourage you to do.  

There is no reason why a woman who loves her religion and is obedient to her husband should not respond to the command of Allaah as regards her clothing, especially since this will make her husband love and respect her more. 

Her refusal to wear niqaab may be because of the lies fabricated by some of those who are ignorant and who follow their own whims and desires, who say that the niqaab is a custom inherited from the Jaahiliyyah and that it was not brought by Islam. You should explain to her the ruling on a woman covering her face, with evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and tell her that the scholars are unanimously agreed that this ruling is prescribed in Islam. 

Remind her of the Sahaabi women who hastened to tear their aprons so that they could cover their faces after the verse of hijab was revealed, and encourage her to have righteous friends. Tell her that this world is transient and soon each of us will meet our Lord with our deeds. 

Neither you nor she should worry about what your families will say. As for such environments where the rulings of Islam are not known and people cannot differentiate between proper adherence to Islam and extremism no attention should be paid to them or to what they say about one who adheres to the path of righteousness. 

If your wife does not respond to the Islamic injunction to cover the face, then be patient with her, and try to convey the message to her in some other way, such as from another women who is involved in da’wah, or by means of tapes and books by scholars whose knowledge and religious commitment can be trusted. 

Seek the help of Allaah and persist in calling upon Him, asking Him for support and help to establish a household based on what our Lord loves and is pleased with. 

Show her the answer to question no. 21134, which speaks of the obligation to wear niqaab according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. 

And please see question no. 20343 which speaks of the husband’s duty to advise his wife and how he may do so. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are asked if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human action to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the enquiry remains the exact same that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Lord All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Why is it forbidden for a woman to have multiple husbands at one time?

Why are women not allowed to have 3 or 4 husbands but men can have 3 or 4 wives?

Praise be to Allaah.

This is connected primarily to faith in Allaah. All religions are agreed that it is not permissible for a woman to have intercourse with anyone except her husband. Among these religions are those which are undoubtedly of heavenly origin, such as Islam and the original versions of Judaism and Christianity. Belief in Allaah dictates submission to His rulings and laws, for Allaah is All-Wise and All-Knowing, He knows what is in the best interests of mankind. So we may understand the wisdom behind the ruling of sharee’ah, or we may not be able to grasp it. 

With regard to the permissibility of multiple spouses for men and its prohibition for women, there are several issues which are obvious to every intelligent person. Allaah has made woman like a vessel, but man is not like that. If a woman becomes pregnant (when she has had intercourse with a number of men at one time), the father can never be known. People’s lines of descent and lineage will be mixed up, families will be destroyed and children will be lost. Women will be burdened with so many children that they will be unable to bring them up and spend on their maintenance. Maybe women would find themselves forced to sterilize themselves, which would lead to the extinction of the human race. Moreover it is medically proven now that one of the major causes of the serious diseases which have become widespread, such as AIDS etc., is women having intercourse with more than one man, and the mixing of seminal fluids in the woman’s womb causes these lethal diseases. Hence Allaah has prescribed a waiting period (‘iddah) for a woman who has been divorced or whose husband has died, until enough time has passed for her womb and passages to be cleansed of any traces of her former husband, and the monthly period also has a role to play in this matter. Perhaps these brief pointers will dispense with the need for a lengthy discussion. If the purpose of the question is research for a university or other assignment, he may refer to the books which have been written on the topic of plural marriage (polygyny) and the wisdom behind it. And Allaah is the Source of strength. 

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning Quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with Quranic tajweed we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity substance of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Holy Scripture with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we continue with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the query remains the very same that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any Divine All these response can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our job.

He gave his wife money to do Hajj then he died; is it permissible for her to use it for something other than Hajj?

A husband paid hajj for his wife, a month to that hajj, the man passed on. Is the wife allowed to perform that hajj or collect the money back for her personal use? what are the reason for her to perform the hajj or to collect back the paid money?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, the wife has to do Hajj with this money whenever she is able to and has a mahram, because the husband only gave her the money to do Hajj with it. It seems that if he knew that she would not do Hajj with the money he would not have given it to her. The basic principle with regard to donated money is that it should be spent on the charitable causes stipulated by the giver, and it should not be spent on anything else, unlike general donations which are not intended for any specific purpose, so they may be spent on all kinds of charitable causes. 

Shaykh Zakariya al-Ansaari (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

If he gives him some money and tells him: Buy yourself a turban with it or use it to go to the public bath (hammam) and so on, then it is specifically for that purpose, because that was the intention of the one who gave the money, as he intended that he should cover his head with the turban and clean himself by going to the hammam, because he saw that he was bareheaded and that his body was unkempt and dirty. Otherwise, if he did not intend that exactly, such as if he said it by way of ordinary chitchat, then he does not have to use the money for that particular purpose, rather he may take possession of it and dispose of it in whatever way he wants.

End quote. Asna’l-Mataalib Sharh Rawdat al-Taalib, 2/479-480 

Shaykh Sulaymaan ibn ‘Umar al-Jamal (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

If he gives him dates with which to break the fast, then he must use them for that purpose, and it is not permissible to use them for any other purpose, because the intention of the giver was specific. End quote. 

Haashiyat al-Jamal ‘ala Sharh al-Manhaj, 2/328 

And Allah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the enquiry remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any God Almighty All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

She has both male and female children; who spend on her?

I have six sisters and five brothers. Our father is deceased and he left us an inheritance in the form of a building that is rented out. When we asked for a share of the rental income, our oldest brother got angry and refused to give that to us, so we referred the matter to the court, which confirmed our right to our share of the rental income. At that point he stopped spending on our mother, because he was angry at what we had done and he argued that we had no right to take our share, and he said that we were now obliged to spend on our mother. Please note that we [sisters] are married and do not work. Even when [our mother] went into hospital, he refused to pay her medical costs. I hope that you can explain the following: 
Who is obliged to spend on the parents?
Does he have the right to prevent us from taking our share of the rental income on the grounds that he is spending on our mother? 
Does he have the right to stop spending on her when he is able to do so? Please note that she needs this maintenance.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The inheritance is to be divided as commanded by Allah, may He be exalted, and it is essential to avoid overstepping the mark in that regard. After mentioning inheritance, Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“These are the limits (set by) Allaah (or ordainments as regards laws of inheritance), and whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) will be admitted to Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise), to abide therein, and that will be the great success.

14. And whosoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم), and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein; and he shall have a disgraceful torment”

[al-Nisa’ 4:13, 14]. 

So your brother does not have the right to keep the rental income from the building and deprive the rest of the heirs of that. 

Secondly: 

The duty of spending on parents who are poor is that of their children, male or female, if they are independent of means and have wealth surplus to what they require for their own maintenance and that of their dependents, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”

[al-Isra’ 17:23]. 

A man asked the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): Which of the people is most deserving of my good companionship? He said: “Your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your mother.” He said: Then who? He said: “Then your father.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548). 

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Among the best of that which a man consumes is what he earns (by his own efforts), and his son is part of that which he earns.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (3528) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.                                                                     

Ibn al-Mundhir (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The scholars are unanimously agreed that maintenance of poor parents who have no income or wealth should be spent on from the wealth of their child. End quote from al-Mughni, 8/169 

Based on that, your mother’s maintenance should come from her share of the rental income, which is one eighth, and she has the right to sell her share to one of the heirs or anyone else, and to spend on herself from that income. 

If that is not sufficient for her maintenance, it should be topped up from the wealth of her children who are independent of means, whether they are males or females. If a married woman gets enough maintenance from her husband and she has surplus wealth – even if it comes from the rent for the building – she has to spend on her mother. 

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If the parents are poor and the daughter has wealth that is surplus to her needs, she has to spend on her parents according to their needs without that detracting from her own needs. End quote. 

The maintenance should be in accordance with the shares of inheritance, because of the general meaning of the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And on the (father’s) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent on the father).” [al-Baqarah 2:233]. And the share taken from the male should be equivalent to the share taken from two females. 

Your brother does not have the right to keep the rental income on the grounds that it has to be spent on (your mother’s) maintenance; rather he should give each heir his or her share and all the children should reach an agreement to pay enough to cover their mother’s maintenance. No matter how much that may be, it is nothing compared to the rights that she has over you. 

Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Adab al-Mufrad (918) from Abu Burdah that Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) saw a Yemeni man circumambulating the Ka‘bah, carrying his mother on his back. He said: I am her trained camel; do you think I have paid her back? Ibn ‘Umar said: No, not even one contraction. 

Classed as saheeh ibn al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Adab al-Mufrad. 

So fear Allah and set things straight amongst yourselves; remember that Allah is always watching how you treat your mother, who is the most deserving of people of your good company and care. 

We ask Allah to help and guide us and you. 

And Allah knows best.

Her husband takes her salary; does she have the right to take from him what she is entitled to without his knowing?

I am working but all my salary is with my husband.He provides me with all the needs .I have no complaints about that.He even gives me a very small amount of pocket money after a lot of requests every month.But he refuses ti give me more thatn that.
I would like to ask can i take from him without his knowledge some money very little amount because i feel he is unjust to me.If i have to give my relatives or my parents who are in need or gifts to my friends i feel very helpless i cant help them because he does not like it but i want to .
I dont want to cheat him even though i feel i have equal rights over not only my money but his money also but sometimes i dont understand why he does not give me money.
I dont want arguements in my house for money thats why i dont want to ask him anymore.
Please help.
I am not taking it for any wrong things.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

It is not permissible for the wife to take anything from her husband’s wealth except with his permission, unless he is stingy with her in spending what he is obliged to spend. In that case it is permissible for her to take what is sufficient for her and her children, on a reasonable basis, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (5364) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), which says that Hind bint ‘Utbah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man and does not give me enough for me and my children, unless I take from him without him knowing. He said: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children on a reasonable basis.” 

For more information please see the answer to question no. 20433. 

Secondly: 

Whatever salary a woman receives is her property, which she may dispose of however she wants, and she does not have to give any of it to her husband or to contribute to household expenses with her husband. Rather spending on the wife and children is obligatory upon her husband, even if the wife is rich, unless he stipulated that she should contribute to the household expenses or if it is the custom that a working woman must contribute to the household expenses. 

For more information please see the answer to question no. 126316 and 4037. 

Thirdly: 

If the husband did not stipulate in the marriage contract that he would take some of his wife’s salary in return for giving her permission to work, then it is not permissible for him to take anything from her salary, unless she gives it willingly. If he does take something from it then he is taking something to which he is not entitled, and in this case it is permissible for the woman to take what she is entitled to from his wealth without him knowing.  

Shaykh al-Shanqeeti (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If someone wrongs you by taking some of your wealth in an illegitimate fashion and you cannot prove it, and you can take similar to what he took from you wrongfully in a manner that is safe from scandal and punishment, do you have the right to take as much as you are entitled or not? 

According to the more correct of the two opinions and according to the apparent meaning of the texts, and by analogy, that you may take as much as you are entitled to and no more, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted”

[al-Nahl 16:126]

“you transgress likewise against him”

[al-Baqarah 2:194]. 

Among the scholars who held this view were: Ibn Sireen, Ibraaheem al-Nakha‘i, Sufyaan, Mujaahid and others. 

A group of scholars -- including Maalik -- said that that is not permissible. This is the view of Khaleel ibn Ishaaq al-Maaliki in Mukhtasar, where he says concerning an item that is deposited with someone as a trust: He does not have the right to take anything from the one who wronged him equivalent to what he deposited with him. He quoted as evidence for that view a hadeeth that says: “Render the trust back to the one who entrusted it to you, and do not betray the one who betrays you.” 

This hadeeth -- even if we assume that it is saheeh -- cannot be quoted as evidence in this case, because the one who takes as much as he is entitled to and no more has not betrayed the one who betrayed him; rather he has got his fair dues from the one who wronged him.

End quote from Adwa’ al-Bayaan (2/467) 

This is the ruling on this action, but it should be noted that each spouse should treat the other in a kind and reasonable manner, and each should give up some of his or her rights to the other, so that good treatment between them may continue. 

And Allah knows best.

She took some money from her mother when she was still alive without her knowledge, and now she is the only heir

I used to take money from my mother’s wealth without her knowing to buy more clothes and have extra money to spend. I had decided to repent, but my mother died suddenly. How can I absolve myself of this sin? Please note that I am her only heir and everything she owned is now mine. What should I do so that my Lord will be pleased with me? Is my mother’s death a punishment for me from Allah?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If a child takes from the wealth of the one who is obliged to spend on him, whether that is the father or the mother, one of two scenarios must apply: 

(1)

He takes what he needs to meet his need for food, drink, clothing and so on. This is permissible, even if it is done without the knowledge of the person whose money it is, if he has no way of getting his rights to maintenance except in this manner. That is because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (5264) and Muslim (1714) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who narrated that Hind bint ‘Utbah said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man and he does not give me enough maintenance for myself and my children, except what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. He said: “Take from his wealth whatever is sufficient for yourself and your children, on a reasonable basis.” 

(2)

He takes more than he needs for his maintenance for the purpose of having more. This is not permissible and it comes under the heading of taking wealth in an unlawful manner. In this case he has to repent and return the money to its owner if he is still alive or to his heirs if he is dead. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: I am the only daughter of my father, and my father – praise be to Allah – is very well off. Sometimes I take from his money without him knowing and he does not ask me about it. Am I sinning by doing that…? 

He replied: It is not permissible for anyone to take anything from anyone else except in a lawful manner. If this girl used to take money from her father’s pocket because she needed it and if she asked her father for it he would not give it to her, then there is nothing wrong with that because Hind bint ‘Utbah asked the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) [about such a matter]; in fact she complained to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that her husband did not give her enough for her and her children, and he said: “Take from his wealth whatever is sufficient for yourself and your children.” 

But if the father of this woman who is asking the question did not withhold anything from her if she asked him for what she needed, then it is not permissible for her to take anything from him without his knowledge.

End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb 

For more information please see the answer to question no. 83099 and 149347 

Based on that, you have to repent to Allah, may He be exalted, for what you have done and feel remorse for that. You do not have to return the money unless there are other heirs who inherit along with you, because they have a right to this money. 

Offer a great deal of du‘aa’ for your mother, because that is part of honouring her after her death. If you give some of the wealth in charity on her behalf, that is the hope that it will reach her and will be part of your repentance. 

And Allah knows best.

Does the wife has the right to know about the family budget?

I would like to know how much the wife can ask her husband about family budget, our expenses, loans etc...I feel not comfortable if my husband hide some of these things. Is that normal the husband to share all this with me? Or i ask to much? Sometimes i feel he feels uncomfortable when i start asking him. Our budget is together, i give him my salary, if i need something i always ask him.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Islam has made it obligatory upon the husband to spend on his wife on a reasonable basis, according to what he can afford. And it does not oblige the wife to spend on herself even if she is rich, except with her willing consent, and that is by way of kindness and helping her husband. 

Among the things that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said in his sermon during the Farewell Pilgrimage is the following: “Fear Allaah with regard to women …  Their rights over you are that you should provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.”

Narrated by Muslim, 1218. 

An-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim, 8/184: This indicates that it is obligatory to spend on the wife’s maintenance and clothing. This is established by scholarly consensus. End quote. 

For more details please see the answer to question no. 3054 

Secondly: 

It is not permissible for the husband to take anything from his wife’s salary except what she gives willingly. Anything he takes apart from that is haraam. See the answer to question no. 112032

For information on advice to both spouses concerning such matters, please see the answer to question no. 126316

Thirdly: 

If the husband spends on his wife from his own wealth on a reasonable basis, then it is not within her rights that he should tell her how much he has and how much his savingsare, or how he plans his finances and so on. 

Fourthly: 

If the wife contributes her salary to the family expenses, then it is her right to know where and how her money was spent, and how much of the monthly household budget she is supporting and so on, and this becomes more important if she asks for that. Otherwise it is within her rights to withhold her contribution altogether. 

And Allah knows best.

She is refusing those who propose marriage – could it be sihr (witchcraft)?

I am a 28 years old girl. Religious and cultured, everyone respects and loves me, Alhamdulillah. I am not married, and the reason is that whenever anyone proposes to me I try to find any mistakes in him; to refuse his proposal, and then I regret. I have a friend who I trust a lot. She loves me and loves to see every good happening to me. Few days ago she said to me: “the reason why you refuse everyone is a spell on you by a person who does not want you to marry”, I want to know the Islamic ruling on my matter. Can it really be sihr? I mean: can someone put a spell on me to make me refuse marriage even if I was persuaded by the person who wants to marry me? If this is right then what is the solution? She told me also that there are people who can break this spell. Please help me as I frankly do not believe this.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

One of two scenarios must apply with regard to the suitor whom you are rejecting: 

1 – He actually does have bad characteristics. 

2 – That is an illusion on your part, and is not actually the case. 

If the former is true, then you have done well to reject him and not accept him as a husband. No husband is fit for a woman except one who is religiously committed and of good character; he is the one who can guide her to do good and help her to obey her Lord, and raise her children in the best manner. 

But we must draw attention to something that is very important, which is that it is not up to people to judge what is inside people’s hearts, and no one is enjoined to do that. Even the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not been commanded to check people’s hearts or split open their bellies (meaning checking what is in their hidden thoughts).”  Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4351) and Muslim (1064).  

As we are not enjoined to do that, how people appear outwardly to be is sufficient for us. If someone appears to us to be good, we trust him, and we judge him as he appears to be, and his case is up to Allaah. 

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Utbah said: I heard ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) say: “People used to be judged by the wahy (revelation) at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but now the wahy has ceased. Now we will judge you according to what we see of your outward deeds. Whoever appears good to us, we will trust him and draw close to him, and what is in his heart has nothing to do with us. Allaah will call him to account for what is in his heart. And whoever appears bad to us, we will not trust him and we will not believe him, even if he says that inwardly he is good.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2641.  

Soon, if you examine people and try to find out how they are inside, no one will be good enough for you. Look at yourself first: are you free of the things that you look for in others? 

It was narrated that Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “If you seek out people’s faults you will soon corrupt them or almost corrupt them.”  

Abu’l-Darda’ said: A word that Mu’aawiyah heard from the Messenger of Allaah by which Allaah benefited him. 

Narrated by Abu Dawood (4888) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. 

Al-Manaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Because people indulge in gossip and may accuse others of something that has no basis. 

Seeking out suspected faults may lead to the very faults that he wants to remove. 

To sum up: The Lawgiver seeks to conceal wherever possible. 

Fayd al-Qadeer (1/559). 

So our advice to you, and to all our sisters who are looking for a suitable husband, is that the woman should not be so strict in the conditions that should be met by the husband with regard to character and religious  commitment, for two reasons: 

1 – She may not herself have the level of religious commitment and beauty that would make men who are of good character and religious commitment seek her out and propose to her. In that case there is no justification for her refusal, because it may be impossible or very difficult for the one who she imagines to come and seek her as a wife. She should pay attention to this matter because it is important. 

2 – People vary in their character and level of religious commitment. If there comes to her one who is of good character and religiously committed, she should realize that there are some who are better then him and others to whom he is superior. Hence she should accept one who is god enough to be her husband and help her to keep chaste and direct her to that which is good. 

If the latter is the case, then it is more likely that it is caused by destructive envy (hasad) or witchcraft. This kind of witchcraft is called sihr al-ta’teel. You can find out if this is the case if the one who proposed marriage is of good character and religiously committed, and has no faults, and you accept him and he accepts you, but then nothing happens, or you reject him for no apparent reason. 

Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) said:  

As for witchcraft that prevents marriage: women often complain of sihr al-ta’teel, as marriage does not happen even though the conditions are met and there are no impediments. Suitors may come and be accepted, but then they go away without anything being achieved. Undoubtedly this is due to a reason caused by some enviers to prevent the marriage from being completed, to the extent that some girls remain without marriage and if the marriage does go ahead in some cases, there happens something to prevent the couple from getting along and having a happy life.  

Al-Sawaa’iq al-Mursalah fi Tasaddi li’l-Musha’widheena wa’l-Sahrah (p. 175). 

Secondly: 

The solution in both cases is easy, in sha Allaah. If it is the matter of you being too strict about the qualities that you want in a husband, then you should realize that the solution to this problem is to accept a husband who has the qualities of manliness, love of good and religious commitment that prevent him from doing haraam things. People vary in this, so accept the one who is commended to you by a sincere and trustworthy advisor who is a good and religiously committed person, and knows your situation and that of the suitor. Perhaps Allaah will cause him to be good for you. 

If you have been afflicted with the evil eye or a spell has been worked against you, the solution lies in dealing with it in the ways prescribed in sharee’ah, which we have explained in the answers to question no. 13792, 11290 and 12918. 

There is no need to look for people to undo the spell; reciting Qur’aan and ruqyahs is something that you can do by yourself. If you are not able to do that, then look for a sister whose religious commitment you trust to do that for you, and try to keep away from men. 

We ask Allaah to help you to do all that is good, and we ask Him to make you steadfast in adhering to His religion, and to bless you with a righteous husband. 

And Allaah knows best.

He is asking about marrying a girl who works as an accountant in a tobacco company

Is it permissible for me to marry a girl who works as an accountant in a tobacco company? She is moral girl, virtuous and wears hejab. Allah knows what chests hide.

Praise be to Allaah.

Marriage is a step towards happiness in this world, but many people seek happiness in this transient world and forget about the Hereafter which is eternal, so when it comes to marriage they do not pay attention to that which Allaah has prescribed, and they only think of finding pleasure and satisfying desires, and they only pay attention to the beauty, status or wealth of the woman they seek, and in most cases that is at the expense of religious commitment. 

We do not think that you are one of these people. 

The Muslim needs someone who will make him steadfast and help him to be righteous and adhere to the path of good and obedience. The best help in all of that is a righteous wife, who will tell him to do good and forbid him to do evil. 

The Muslim also needs a decent and righteous mother who will take care of his children and bring them up properly, and instil strong morals and good values in them, teaching them to submit fully to Allaah and to respect the religion of Allaah in their hearts and be motivated to adhere to the rulings of sharee’ah in their lives, so that they will attain the pleasure of Allaah in this world and in the Hereafter, and so that they will be beacons of goodness and righteousness in their societies. 

This is what you should look for in the woman whom you seek as a wife and companion, and this is what you should pay attention to when proposing marriage. 

Think about the situation of this girl to whom you want to propose marriage. 

If you see in her what we have described, then she is the one you want, so make sure you do not miss this opportunity. The sign of that is that if you explain to her that smoking is haraam and that helping with it and working in companies that produce and market tobacco is haraam, she will respond to you and will give up her job willingly, rejoicing that Allaah has guided her and diverted her from haraam and impure earnings. We ask Alala to guide this young woman. 

But if she rejects your advice and does not listen to the fatwas of the scholars which are virtually unanimous in stating that this obnoxious plant is haraam and that it is haraam to work in producing it, and she insists on staying in that haraam job and mixing with non-mahram men who share this sin with her, then we do not think that in that case you will see in her the good qualities that we spoke of, and you will realize that our advice will – inevitably – be to forget about this proposal and look for another opportunity that is based on obedience, piety and commitment, and to avoid speaking to this girl, and not try to get in touch with her, because speaking to women unnecessarily is haraam. 

Working in factories and companies that produce tobacco and cigarettes is worse than actually smoking, because the producer of tobacco is a producer of evil and a source of evil and harm who is working to corrupt society by destroying the health and well being that Allaah has given to people. So he bears the burden of sin for all the harm and damage that spreads through society because of smoking, even if his work is in the accounting department, because the company is a single entity whose work is basically haraam, and every job that helps in something haraam is also haraam. 

We look forward to the day on which the tobacco factories and companies will become idle, shunned by every Muslim who feels a sense of protective jealousy towards his religion, his own self and his society, and when he protects himself against being a source of destruction and corruption.  

Try to advise this girl concerning this matter, and quote to her the fatwas which state that. Neither you nor she should seek that haraam provision, for Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, erases blessing from that which is haraam but He blesses that which is halaal. If she responds, then go ahead and marry her, otherwise Allaah will make everyone independent of means by His Bounty, and Allaah is Most Generous and Wise. 

See also the answers to the following questions which explain the ruling on smoking and its seriousness: 9083, 10922, 13254 and 20757. 

With regard to the qualities of the righteous wife, please see the answer to question no. 71255. 

On our site there are many fatwas which state that it is haraam to work in anything that involves helping in evil and haraam. See for example no. 7432, 41105 and 49829. 

For guidelines on women working, please see: 6666, 20140, 22397 and 33710. 

And Allaah knows best.

Should she marry a man who is a carrier of thelassaemia?

I would like to ask your opinion about a matter. A religious moral man has proposed to me, I am also moral and religious, I ask Allah to keep me this way. We were optimistic about this marriage. But by doing the pre-marriage examinations we found out that it is 50% possible that we will have children carrying thalassemia, 25% possible that we have healthy children, and 25% possible that we have children carrying thalassemia, because both of us carry this disease. Considering that if a person is carrier of this disease, it might be carried over to his children if he marries who carries the disease as well. While it is not the same case if he marries a healthy woman.  
My father has left the choice up to me. I am confused. Should I give preference to marrying a good man rather than to my children being healthy?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Undoubtedly one of the aims of marriage is to produce righteous offspring and increase the numbers of the ummah of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Abu Dawood (2050) from Ma’qil ibn Yasaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “I have found a woman who is of good lineage and is beautiful, but she does not bear children. Should I marry her?” He said, “No.” Then he came again with the same question and he told him not to marry her. Then he came a third time with the same question and he said: “Marry those who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1784.  

That also means producing offspring who are healthy and able to do the duties enjoined by Islam, and to bear the burdens of conveying the message. 

If the couple know that their marriage may produce children who are sick or who are carriers of a disease, then it is better for them not to get married in that case, so as to ward off expected harm and to reduce evil and harm in the ummah of Islam, and to protect themselves from hardship and suffering that may affect them when taking care of a sick child. 

From what we have read, it seems that if both spouses are carriers of this sickness, then each of their children has a 25% chance of being healthy, a 25% chance of being affected, and a 50% chance of being a carrier. But if one of them is healthy and the other is a carrier of the disease, then the danger is greatly reduced, as the possibility of the child being born healthy goes up to 50%, and the possibility of him being a carrier of the disease is also 50%, but there is no possibility of the child being born with the disease. 

These possibilities are based on experience and research, but the matter is entirely subject to the will and decree of Allaah. 

As that is the case, then it is better for you to marry a healthy person. This does not mean that you should put good health before religious commitment as you say; what you have to do is to look for a healthy man who is religiously committed, and there are many such, praise be to Allaah. 

If you give up the idea of this marriage for the sake of your children, and to reduce the sickness and prevent it spreading further in the ummah, then we hope that Allaah will compensate you with good, and reward you for that. 

We ask Allaah to help and guide you. 

And Allaah knows best.

How can he find out about the one to whom he wants to propose?

I am a young Muslim man studying abroad. I want to find a suitable righteous wife who suits my education and religious status. I was told about a girl who has all the characteristics I am looking for. The problem is that she is in my home country, and I am abroad, I have no way to know about her religiousness, morals, or beauty. I wanted to ask her some questions via the internet but she refused. All she did was that she told her family and gave me her father’s mobile number and said: “Enter houses by their proper doors”. All this made me like her. But I do not know even what she looks like! When I talked to her father I found him more protective to his family. He said to me: “if you are abroad, then your parents should come, and when you have the ability to come in the end of the year you will look to her, and she will look to you, then we will talk about marriage. I will not allow you to ask any question about me or my family before your parents come”. How does he want my parents to visit them while I know nothing about them! Is this the prescribed Islamic way? What is the solution? Please guide me. 
How shall I learn about her in a proper Islamic way, especially that I do not know any righteous person who knows them?  
What shall someone know about the girl to whom he is going to propose marriage? Is it proper to propose to her before knowing anything about her? Shall a person propose to a girl he never saw before?  
I told you all the information I have about her. Is it enough to propose to her?  
I am sorry for my long question, but my case is special and it needs detailing.

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah to make it easy for you to find a righteous wife who will be a delight to you. From your question it seems that the family of this girl is a chaste family which protects its daughters, and that is clear from the fact that this girl refused to talk to you and insisted that you should speak to her father, then her father also said that. The father’s attitude is also sound, because he told you that when your father comes and the two families have got to know one another, then it will be possible for you to see her and propose marriage to her if you wish. This is a good attitude because looking at the woman to whom one is proposing, which is permitted in sharee’ah, is only permitted for the one who wants to propose and thinks it most likely that his proposal will be accepted. The great scholar al-‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book Qawaa’id al-Ahkaam fi Masaalih al-Anaam (2/146), when discussing looking at the woman to whom one wants to propose: That is only permitted for the one who has a strong hope that his proposal will be accepted, not the one who knows or thinks it most likely that his proposal will not be accepted. End quote. 

As for getting to know the girl’s family, you can ask about them and ask your father to ask about them. Simply asking about them and consulting others about them before proposing to their daughter is not haraam according to sharee’ah, so it does not matter that this man told you not to ask about them, because in this case speaking and saying something that they dislike is not gheebah (backbiting or gossip) that is forbidden in sharee’ah. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra (4/477), speaking of the kind of gheebah that is permitted with no difference of opinion among the scholars:  

The second type is when a man consults others about the person whom he wants to marry or do business with or ask to bear witness, and (the person asked) knows that this person is not fit for that, so he advises him and tells him about that person. End quote. 

With regard to how you can find out about her in a manner that is Islamically acceptable: as we have stated above, you can ask about her and it is permissible to look at her if you want to propose to her. If you cannot see her then you should send one of your female mahrams to look at her and describe her to you. It is better if you or the one who is going to describe her to you can see her before you propose, so that you can decide whether to go ahead or not, because looking after proposing may lead to you deciding not to marry her, and that will be upsetting to her and her family. It seems to us that this family will not object to you asking about them and looking at the girl if they see that you are serious about proposing, so you should do what the girl’s father has suggested, then pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah to guide you, and He will decree that which is good for you, in sha Allaah. 

As for the qualities that you should look for in the girl whom you choose to be your wife, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has taught us that which the Muslim should seek in the one whom he chooses to be his wife. That may be summed up as follows: 

1 – She should be religiously committed, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466). i.e., that which encourages a man to marry a woman may be one of these four things, but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined us not to choose anyone else over the one who is religiously committed. 

2 – She should be fertile, because of the hadeeth: “Marry women who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great number before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2050); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. It may be known whether a virgin will be fertile if she is from a family whose women are known for bearing many children. 

3 – She should be a virgin, because of the report: “Why not a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5052). 

4 – She should have a good lineage i.e., be from a good family. 

5 – She should be beautiful because that will bring tranquillity to him and be more helpful in lowering the gaze and more likely to bring about love. Hence it is prescribed to look at the woman before doing the marriage contract. 

6 – She should be mature and he should avoid foolish women, because marriage is intended to be a permanent relationship and one cannot live with fools, and a foolish attitude may be picked up by the woman’s children.  

Finally, we should not omit to point out to you the seriousness of speaking to non mahram women over the internet or via other means of communication, because it is a step that may lead to negative consequences, so beware of the traps of the shaytaan. May Allaah help us and you to do all that He loves and which pleases Him.  

And Allaah knows best.

He loves a girl and her father agrees to them marrying but her mother refuses

I love a girl who is related to me but her mother does not agree to giving her to me in marriage, but her father agrees to everything. What is your answer? I am still keeping her picture.

Praise be to Allaah.

What counts in order for a marriage to be valid is the consent of the woman’s wali (guardian), which is her father in this case. As for the mother, it is not essential that she give her permission or consent, but it is recommended for the father to consult her as a sign of respect towards her. 

Based on this, if the father of the girl agrees, then he can arrange the marriage contract with you, but is it right to go ahead with this marriage? That depends. If the girl is religiously committed and of good character, and the mother’s refusal is based on minor reasons or something that can be rectified in the future, then there is nothing wrong with going ahead with this marriage. But if her refusal is based on something that cannot be rectified soon, then it is better not to go ahead with this marriage, because the mother’s attitude may affect your married life. 

Determining what is best in this case needs an examination of the details of the matter. But in general terms we may say that it needs you to weigh up the pros and cons, and to look at the nature of the girl and how much she is influenced by her mother’s attitude, if she will put pressure on her or tell her to go against you. As for your saying that you are still keeping her picture, if what you mean is that you have a photo of her, this is not permissible for two reasons: 

1 – She is a stranger (non-mahram) to you, so it is not permissible for you to look at her. This looking is one of the doors that lead to fitnah. Hence Islam enjoins lowering the gaze, as it says in the verse (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do”

[al-Noor 24:30] 

2 – It is not permissible to keep photos for memories, even if they are pictures of one's sons and daughters or mahrams, because of the general meaning of the evidence which indicates that making images is haraam, and the stern tone of that evidence. It is not permissible to take pictures of animate beings except in cases of necessity and urgent need, such as ID photos and pictures of criminals and so on. 

Based on this, you have to get rid of this picture and understand that Allaah is watching you and can see you, so fear Allaah and fear His punishment, and conceal the ‘awrah of believing women, and wish for them what you would wish for your own family of concealment and well being. 

Do not marry until you ask Allaah for guidance (istikhaarah). Please see question no. 11981 for more information on Salaat al-Istikhaarah. 

We ask Allaah to guide you. 

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on getting married and divorced on paper in order to have residency in a kaafir country

What is your opinion about a person who falsely divorces his wife, i.e. formally having the divorce contract, without saying the word of talaaq actually to her? This enables him to marry a European woman in order to get a residency. Then he will divorce the European woman and return his first wife to him afterwards. What is the ruling on this matter?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Marriage is a serious covenant and it is one of the most important rulings of sharee’ah, by means of which intimacy becomes permissible and rights such as the mahr (dowry) and inheritance are proven, and children are attributed to their father, and other rulings. 

By means of divorce, a woman becomes haraam for her husband and is deprived of inheritance, and she becomes permissible for other men to marry, subject to well known conditions. Our aim in explaining all this is to alert the Muslims to the necessity of not using these two contracts in ways other than that which has been prescribed by Allaah, and not using them as tricks. We have seen – unfortunately – men who will marry a woman not so that the intimacy with her which was forbidden becomes permissible, and not so as to form a family with her – as is the aim of the shar’i contract – but so as to attain some worldly purpose, such as registering land, or getting a licence to open a business, or to get residency, or to enable the woman to travel outside her country. In none of this cases is the man a husband or the woman a wife in the real sense, rather he is a husband on paper only! It is not more than ink on paper. This is a kind of toying with the rulings of sharee’ah. It is not permissible to do it or to take part in it, and it is essential to try to stop it when the aim is to achieve some haraam purpose, such as the one who does that in order to get residency in a non-Muslim country. 

The same may be said with regard to divorce. It is a shar’i ruling and it is not permissible for anyone to take it lightly or to toy with its rulings. They call that a divorce on paper. 

These people should all realize that they are sinning by doing this. Allaah has not prescribed marriage and divorce so that the wife might be a name on the contract with no rulings and rights. They should realize that the rulings come into effect merely by virtue of the contract being done, if the conditions and essential parts of it are fulfilled, and that if any of these are missing it is invalid, and that divorce from the husband takes place if the words are merely uttered. There is no such thing in sharee’ah as marriage on paper and divorce on paper. The sin is further compounded if it is done in order to do something that is haraam in the first place, such as one who uses it to avoid giving people their rights or paying debts to them, or if a woman uses it to get help given to divorcees by a state or institution, or so that she can live in a non-Muslim state where it is not permissible for her to reside, and other invalid, haraam aims. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The Lawgiver forbids treating the Verses (Laws) of Allaah as a jest (al-Baqarah 2:231) and forbids a man to speak of the Verses of Allaah which are binding contracts except in a serious manner as they are meant to be. Hence it is forbidden to take them lightly and or to marry a divorced woman in order to divorce her so that it will be permissible for her to go back to her first husband. This is indicated by the verse in which He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And treat not the Verses (Laws) of Allaah as a jest” [al-Baqarah 2:231], and by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “What is the matter with people who toy with the sacred limits of Allaah and make a mockery of His verses (laws), (and say), I divorce you, I take you back, I divorce you, I take you back?” It should be understood that toying with them is haraam. End quote. 

Al-Fataawa al-Kubra (6/65). 

Based on this: 

If a man marries a woman who is permissible for him, and it is done in accordance with the conditions prescribed in sharee’ah, with the essential parts being fulfilled and in the absence of any impediments, then it is a valid marriage with all that that implies. 

If a man divorces his wife verbally, it counts as a divorce, even if he does not intend it as such. 

As for a written divorce that is not uttered out loud, that is subject to further discussion as explained in the answer to question no. 72291. 

Secondly: 

Marrying that European woman for the purpose of obtaining residency and then divorcing her is a haraam action. We have quoted the fatwa of Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz prohibiting such actions in the answer to question no. 2886. This applies if he marries her without fulfilling the conditions of marriage, such as if he marries her without a guardian, or if there is any impediment to the validity of the marriage, such as if she is a zaaniyah who has not repented, or she is not one of the people of the Book (i.e., Jewish or Christian), in which case marriage to her is haraam and is invalid. 

If he marries her in a marriage that fulfils all the necessary parts and  conditions, and is free of any impediments, then his marriage is valid with all that that implies, but his intention is forbidden.  

Thirdly: 

These reprehensible actions of obtaining a divorce paper for the first wife and marrying another woman for the purpose of obtaining residency, then divorcing her, include two other things that are haraam: 

1 – Trickery, lying and giving false witness, because it is deceiving the state and tricking it in order to obtain nationality, which is haraam. 

2 – He wants to do the divorce and marriage on paper in order to get residency in a kaafir country, but in our religion it is forbidden to settle among the kuffaar unnecessarily, because of the great danger that this poses to one’s religious commitment and morals, and to the individual and the family. 

It was narrated from Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I disavow any Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2645) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

This has also been discussed in the answer to question no. 27211. 

What we advise our brothers to do is to fear Allaah, may He be exalted, with regard to shar’i contracts and not to use them as means to worldly ends, and to refrain altogether if the purposes are haraam. They should fear Allaah with regard to their wives and children, and think about the great hardship that their actions may lead to, or the deprivation of rights and other negative consequences that may result from doing these contracts in this corrupt manner.  

And Allaah knows best.

She insulted him and his family, so he divorced her three times

I am a Tunisian man. I knew a girl from Tunisian origin but has French nationality. She used to imitate westerners in the way they dress and deal with others. I urged her to pray and wear hejab, and I found that she responds. After she wore the hejab I proposed to her. Few months after our engagement she returned to her previous way, and said to me that she will pray and wear hejab after marriage. I married her thinking that she will be better after marriage and being away from the bad companions. I always was reminding her of Islam. Her mother used to say to her, and still is saying: “you still young, live your life to its full, it is not the time to pray and wear hejab now”. I used to stay patient when she insults me all the time.  
Now my wife is in France. She is eight months pregnant. And I am in Tunisia; I left my job and waiting to get the visa to join her there.  
I am jealous for my religion. I want her to leave all the strange habits she used to do and to return to her mind, but she insists on what she is doing. I had enough of this; so we had a problem over the phone. She insulted me, my mother and all my family using words I have never used in my life.  
In a second of anger I said to her in French: “you are divorced, you are divorced, you are divorced” this time I had the intention of giving her a final divorce.  
I am very confused. Please tell me what I should do. We are expecting a baby! I know I said this due to my rashness. Allah decreed and what he decreed has happened. I am waiting for your answer.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

It is a grave error for a man to hasten to utter the word of divorce, because that may lead to the breakdown of his family when he does not intend it to. Allaah has not prescribed divorce to be a means of venting anger, rather He had prescribed it to be used by a man at times when he wants to end a marriage where there is a reason for doing so. 

Based on that, you should guard your tongue and resist uttering the word of divorce at times of anger and of contentment. 

Secondly: 

When a man utters divorce in anger, one of three scenarios must apply: 

1 – His anger is mild in the sense that it does not affect his will and choice. In this case his divorce is valid and counts as such. 

2 – His anger is so intense that he does not know what he is saying and is unaware of it. This divorce does not count as such because he is like the insane man who is not held accountable for what he says. 

Concerning these two scenarios there is no difference of opinion among the scholars. There remains the third scenario which is: 

3 – Intense anger which affects a man’s will and makes him say words as if he is compelled to do so, but he regrets it as soon as his anger dissipates, and it does not reach a level where he does not realize what he is doing and has no control over his words or actions. The scholars differed concerning the ruling on this type of anger. The most correct view – as Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said – is that it does not count as a divorce either, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no divorce and no manumission at the time of coercion.” Narrated by Ibn Majaah (2-46); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Irwa’ (2047). The scholars interpreted coercion as meaning compulsion and intense anger. 

This view was favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) and his student Ibn al-Qayyim, who wrote a famous essay on the topic entitled Ighaathat al-Lahfaan fi Hukm Talaaq al-Ghadbaan. 

See also the answer to question no. 45174. 

Based on this, if your anger reached this level and this is what made you utter the words of divorce, and were it not for this anger you would not have divorced her, then the divorce does not count as such in that case. 

Thirdly: 

If a man says to his wife: ‘You are divorced, you are divorced, you are divorced” or “You are thrice divorced”, this counts as a single divorce (talaaq). This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) and his student Ibn al-Qayyim. Among contemporary scholars it was regarded as most correct by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him). See al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (13/42). 

And Allaah knows best.

He said to his brother-in-law “Your sister is divorced.” Has divorce taken place?

Does divorce take place if my husband says to my brother “Your sister is divorced”?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the husband says to his brother-in-law “Your sister is divorced”, referring to his wife, then it is as if he said “My wife is divorced” so divorce does take place. It is not a condition of divorce that it should take place before the wife or in her hearing. See the answer to question no. 31778. 

The divorce that takes place in this case is a single talaaq, so the husband can take his wife back during the ‘iddah, if this is the first or second talaaq. 

And Allaah knows best.

Is a divorce done by the judge valid?

Is a divorce (talaaq) or annulment of marriage (faskh) done by a judge in a civil, non-sharee’ah court valid, in a case where the husband or wife approached the court which rules according to man-made laws to deal with the demand or request to end the marriage contract, because there is no Islamic qaadi?

Does touching with desire count as taking back a divorced wife?

For about 2 years now my husband and I have been having extreme marry difficulties, the problems have gotten soo bad that it has ended up in 2 divorces, the first divorce he took me back (having intercourse with me), the second divorce he just touched me (without having intercourse),but the touch was in a romatic way. He claims that I am still divorced, because he says that he has to have actual intercourse with me, I have passed one period, so he says that I have 2 more left and my iddah is over, is he right? or did he take me back even though he did not have intercourse with me he just touched me?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Firstly: 

Taking back the wife during the ‘iddah period is a right which sharee’ah gives to the husband. If he wants, he may take her back and if he wants, he may leave his wife until the ‘iddah period is over. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation”

[al-Baqarah 2:228] 

So Allaah has given the husbands of divorced women the right to take them back during this period [i.e., the ‘iddah] if they intend reconciliation thereby. 

This taking back may be achieved in two ways: by word or by deed. 

Taking the wife back by word means saying, for example, “I take back my wife” or “I am keeping my wife,” etc., or saying to her: “I take you back,” or “I am keeping you,” etc. 

Taking back is achieved by means of these phrases, according to the consensus of the fuqaha’. 

Writing may take the place of speaking, and a gesture may take its place on the part of one who is unable to speak these words, such as one who is mute. 

Taking the wife back by deed means intercourse, so long as that is with the intention of reconciliation. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di said: 

If the husband had divorced her with a revocable talaaq, then if the ‘iddah is over she is not permissible for him unless a new marriage contract is done, fulfilling all necessary conditions. If the ‘iddah is not yet over, and if the intention behind intercourse is reconciliation, then this is taking her back and intercourse is permissible. If there is no intention of reconciliation then according to the madhhab this means that he has taken her back, but according to the correct view this does not mean that he has taken her back, therefore intercourse is haraam. 

Al-Irshaad ila Ma’rifat al-Ahkaam. 

Based on this, then your husband’s merely touching you is not regarded as him taking you back. 

See also the answer to question no. 11798. 

This is the view of the majority of scholars (including Imam Maalik, al-Shaafa’i and Ahmad), that taking back the wife is not achieved by merely touching with desire. But Imam Maalik said: Taking back is achieved by touching with desire if the intention is to take the wife back. So long as your husband says that he that he did not intend to take you back, then he did not take you back by doing that. 

See al-Mughni, 7/404; al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/187. 

Secondly: 

With regard to the ‘iddah of a woman divorced by a revocable talaaq, it is three menstrual cycles for women who menstruate, so there are two cycles left for you as your husband said, then your ‘iddah will be over. If he took you back during this time then this divorce is counted as one of the three talaaqs, and he has to bring people to witness that he is taking you back. So he has one talaaq left, and if he does not take you back during the ‘iddah period then you are divorced from him, and it is not permissible for him to go back to you except with a new marriage contract and a new ‘iddah, and the marriage cannot be completed except with your consent and the agreement of your wali (guardian). 

And Allaah knows best.